Realizing how difficult relationships are
Pates' Post Editor
I hate the concept of ‘third wheeling’. One of my good friends has been dating the same person for over a year now, and she constantly bugs me to go out with the two of them. She continuously claims that her significant other has plenty of friends who would be happy to double date with me, but I find them all to be absolutely awful.
To be completely honest, it amazes me everyday that my friend is still with this guy. He is just as bad as his friends that they try to set me up with. He is very disrespectful, and the whole relationship seems toxic to me. I don’t want to meddle in her relationship, but I also want the best for her and I don’t think that this is it.
But anyway, whenever I do decide to go out with just the two of them, I am completely left out. They leave me out of the conversation, have all kinds of inside jokes that I’m not included in, and they seem like they would be much happier if I wasn’t there.
However, watching the two of them together does make me jealous in a way. I mean, Valentine’s Day is right around the corner and it feels wrong not to be with someone on that day. I guess it just feels like everyone around me is in a relationship and I’m not, which makes me feel pretty lonely.
So, basically I’m just asking for a lot of relationship advice, for both myself and my friend. What can I do to fix my mess of a love life?
Dear Single Pringle,
I get that relationship problems can be tough. I have been through my fair share of it, too. It seems like you have a lot of issues, so I will take it one problem at a time.
Third wheeling really is terrible. However, if it is so awful, why do you keep going out with the two of them? I am pretty sure that you have other friends to spend time with or things to spend your time doing, so there is no reason to put yourself through the misery of third wheeling this often. Sure, you can keep trying to double date with his friends, but this also seems like it is awful for you, so again, just take yourself out of the situation if it is bothering you that much.
Along with the whole “double dating” thing, you should also just stop going out with these guys if you cannot see any kind of future with them, or if they just seem downright terrible. Try not to stress about finding a relationship in high school because there is a high probability that it will not last. Just focus on yourself and make that your top priority instead of trying to find someone to date, because being single can be pretty fun sometimes.
Despite your disdain for your friend’s significant other, she is still with him, so you have to respect her decision. You may think that you are looking out for her and have her best interests at heart, but remember, this is her relationship, not yours. If you really see a major issue then I would have a discussion with her, but still respect that this is her decision.
With or without a date, I hope your Valentine’s Day goes well and that you work things out with your friend.